Yesterday was my last bee class before the little buggers come on Saturday.
And suddenly, I find myself terrified.
I’ve been so excited for the bees to come. The hives are all painted. The frames are mid-assembly. I love to pick up the paper wrapped packages of wax foundation and inhale deeply. They smell of beeswax; the scent is intoxicating.
Yet here I am, two days away from bee-a-palooza, and I’m completely terrified. A little scared about being stung, but that’s not really whats going on here. I’m more scared that I’m going to love these little bugs, and then something is going to go wrong and there will be a mass die-off, and it will be all my fault. I am their G~U~A~R~D~I~A~N! I now will have responsibilities to keep them safe. To make sure there’s food. To help them fight viruses and diseases and bacteria and fungi.
The course I’ve been taking has spent loads and loads of time talking about diseases and what can be done for bees, and how to treat and recognize all of the things that could go wrong. But the problem is, they’ve spent so much time talking about all of the things that could go wrong, that now I’m convinced that something CERTAINLY WILL go wrong.
Oh, and the preparations I’ve been making for the bees? Now I feel like I’m completely not ready. I mean, I don’t even have the frames completely assembled yet! We’re arriving at the farmhouse tomorrow evening around 5 pm, and I’ve got to assemble 24 frames, and a base, and move the hives out to the garden and secure them, all by 8 am Saturday morning? We’re not even going to fence them this first week, which I think is a disaster waiting to happen, but the Stubborn Boy has to work on the roof because he got rained out last weekend and it’s a priority. My bugs may die but god forbid we tick off the people who oversee our mortgage…
I must feel how all new parents feel. It’s a mixture of excitement and sheer terror. Of course my only remedy is to take deep breaths and keep repeating to myself,
They’re only bugs. And they’ll keep on keeping on, so be cool.
It’s nature, nature has a handle on this, let mama nature do her thing.